Okay so this is a bit of a different post and I am not entirely sure why I am writing it. Moving to Manly has been a little up-and-down which has made me reflect a little, and I wanted to share that. It’s not all a walk in the park when you move to a new country all on your own, but it all works out in the end, you just got to be patient. And who am I to complain? I’ve been here 8 days and already gotten over my first “emotional speed bump”. Honestly I think I’ll love it here, I just need a little time to find my place.
Wednesday, August 9th
Maybe it’s being back in a city. Or maybe it is simply because I’ve left the easy life in Bali and my family. Either way, I feel a little like I’ve slipped straight back into the “stress” of everyday life. I say “stress” because I don’t really know how to classify it. I have long to-do lists and appointments here and there. My neck and back ache is back, and my feet hurt from wearing closed shoes again. I don’t sleep as well, I feel tired throughout the day rather than energised. I have moments where I get tears in my eyes and a lump in my stomach, that I can’t define as anything other than feeling like I’m in the wrong place. Maybe it’s because I’m still not rid of my cold and that might very well cause me to feel a bit tired and “down”. I don’t know.
What I do know is that I’m going to work hard on maintaining some of that “easy life” feel I’ve had for the past four months in Bali. Those months in Bali taught me that what really matters are; the little and big beautiful moments in a day, the people you meet and surround yourself with, and the memories you make. So, I’m going to try and enjoy every day I spend here, the little things and the big things. I’m in AUSTRALIA, where I’ve been dreaming of being for the past 3 years! And besides, in the end it all works out one way or another so there is no point in stressing. “Worst case” I leave Manly and go somewhere else.
I also had a realisation that surely part of the reason to me feeling “down” over here, is because I haven’t either surfed, done yoga or done any physical activity which are some of the main things that give me positive energy. So far I’ve only been sorting out all the boring admin stuff like finding work and a bank account, and spending hours on public transport. The main reason for me coming to Manly and staying near the beach was so I could surf, and I haven’t done that. I’ve blamed not having a wetsuit, so today I went and bought one, so that I have nothing stopping me. Now I just need to get back in the water, kick this cold and enjoy what this city has to offer.
Thursday, August 10th
My mindset today couldn’t have been any more different from the past few days! I went surfing this morning with Evie (the girl I have been staying with) and her friend Sam, and I feel a million times better and more optimistic. On top of that, I’ve found a place to stay that is right by the beach, where I’ll be sharing an apartment with a very lovely couple. And a big bonus: they both surf + have room for my longboard! Now I just need to find a bed and then I am all sorted and ready to start work on Monday. Everything really does work out in the end, hahah.
This wasn’t the usual post with photos of picturesque places or good food, but I wanted to be honest and give a little glimpse into what’s going on in my mind down here. Speak soon everyone, I’m going to go and get some ingredients for cookies so I can bake again!